InuYasha Genki Omake Theater
by Sango-sama
Summary: In the tradition of the Blue Seed Omake (extras), comes a round of extras for InuYasha-tachi. Ph33r my Sango/Miroku bias! Material contains gratuitous amounts humor, parody, and llamas abound. Reviews and little bits of cheese will be graciously accept
1. The Intro!

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OMAKE! * OMAKE! * OMAKE! * OMAKE! * OMAKE! * OMAKE! * OMAKE!  
  
::SD Cast of IY pops onto the screen, falling happily down the well. Well, almost everyone…::  
  
Kagome sets her feet carefully down on the ground. Anxiously, she yells up! "Inu-Yasha!"  
  
"Feh. I'm not doing this stupid thing."  
  
Her eye twitches. "Osuwari!"  
  
He thumps onto the ground with little flourish…and a lot of bang.  
  
With a slightly forced smile, Kagome mutters, "Just a little bit!"  
  
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1 Inu-Yasha Genki Omake Theater  
  
Written by:  
  
Sango-sama  
  
and  
  
Wally, the Wonder Llama  
  
Directed by:  
  
A Youkai in a Baboon Pelt.  
  
Produced by:  
  
Fluffy-sama's Tail  
  
Edited by:  
  
Kaza-ana Corp, Ltd  
  
Producer's Hair and Make-up:  
  
RuPaul  
  
and a team of  
  
Five of Naraku's Most Fashion Saavy Saimyoushou  
  
(That's three, sir…)  
  
Yes, yes…three then.  
  
  
  
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Disclaimer: I like cheese. I don't own anything. I don't own the credits, I don't own Wally, I don't own Monty Python, I don't own Inu- Yasha, and I'm only parodying ideas from Blue Seed. I can only blatantly steal from so many places at once, you know!  
  
Just a little explanation: Omake means an extra or bonus. So this is a "bonus" to what you would see with the episodes. The intro is a fairly direct parody of Blue Seed's intro…just in case you were curious.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Now! Onto the show: 


	2. The Talk

AN: New pet project that distracts me from the angst I will inevitably get to. As of right now, I have only ones that have been buried within other stories of mine. I hope to remedy that…soon.  
  
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"The Talk"  
  
Excerpted from Black Widow, Ch 10-11  
  
Sango sits against a tree, playing with a blade of grass.  Needing something, anything, to keep her mind occupied--anything to avoid thinking about that demon's conversation with him in the cave.  
  
"Sango, we need to talk."  
  
Her eyes focus onto the piece of grass she was twisting between her fingers.  She doesn't dare raise them to meet his.  "I know."  
  
Frowning slightly, he watches her as he continues.  "This demoness...what did she do to you?"  
  
"It was like being in my own body, but unable to control the slightest movement.  I could see and hear and think just fine.  But I couldn't speak or move."  The blade of grass snaps between her fingers.  Her eyes close and head bows with a sort of mock reverence.  "I was just barely able to stop her in time."  
  
His eyes grow serious.  "So she was trying to kill me."  
  
"Mmmhmm."  
  
"I can't think of anyone not related to Naraku who would actively seek us out."  
  
"But the person holding me captive was definitely a woman."  
  
"He does have that shape-shifting ability…but you may be right.  I couldn't detect his presence."  
  
Sango stands up and faces away from him.  
  
"Sango."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"When did she take you over?"  
  
Her cheeks flush a bright red.  In spite of all of the courage she had in facing youkai, she can't bring herself to turn to look into his eyes."After I went out to wash my face."  
  
"So that was…"  
  
"Yeah.  It wasn't me talking to you in the cave...she had seen all my memories, my thoughts...my feelings, but she was still that demon."  
  
A pause hangs between them as the Houshi processes this newfound information.  "Then the kiss was…"  
  
"Just a distraction.  She was going to poison you, I think.  When she was in my mind, I could see flashes of her thoughts.  She wanted me to watch you suffer and for me to blame myself."  
  
The light crunch of grass beneath footfalls grows closer to her until two strong arms encircle around her, one at her shoulders and the other just below her chest.  
  
"I wouldn't blame you at all, Sango.  I know you wouldn't really try to hurt me."  
  
A light smile crosses her lips.  "Except when you act like a lech."  
  
"Of course."  Smiling, his head bends down, open lips teasingly trailing his warm breath down the side of her neck to reach it's sensitive pulse point, where he presses his lips to her warming skin.  
  
The touch was electric.  A breathy moan of pleasure shudders through her own lips.  Almost reflexively, she tilts her head away, granting him all of the access to the exposed flesh of her neck that her yukata would allow.  Her arms reach up and hold onto the arm encompassing her shoulder.  
  
His lips slowly rise back up her neck placing gentle nip sat short intervals, all the way up to just behind her ear.  "Sango," he whispers.  
  
Her head turns so that her eyes, drunken with the overwhelming sensations, meet his smoldering ones. Their eyes dart back and forth between eyes and lips, drawing together with an agonizingly wonderful dawdling.  
  
She turns in his arms, moving her delicately able hands up behind his neck, as his arms gently remain in place, both supporting and pulling her to him.  
  
"Houshi-sama," she breathes, closing her eyes.  
  
Lips crash upon lips, drinking in the full range of sensations.  
  
Their eyes open briefly, reading each other's and seeing no hesitation before moving back to interlock like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.  
  
His tongue flicks out over her bottom lip, until her lips part.  
  
Delicately, he tastes the inside of her mouth, before drawing her tongue to his.  Somewhat blindly she follows, wondering absently exactly how much experience he has had, before moving her tongue to join his.  Their tongues twine and dance against each other until the need to breathe overcomes them both.  
  
"Ahem.  If you're done now."  
  
"Osuwari."  Kagome exhaustingly raises a hand to her forehead.  "He has no delicacy at all."  
  
"Baka," mutters Shippou.  
  
Sango's face blushes bright and deep, her eyes intently watching the forest floor.  The Houshi's large hand presses against the small of her back, holding her close to him.    His own eyes glare upon the hanyou slowly lifting himself from the ground before crossing in an air of annoyance.  
  
"Feh.  Kagome goes and gets all worked up about you two being in trouble and there you are, busy shoving tongues down each other's throats.  What were you doing last night that kept you from breaking the barrier?"  A cocky grin perks Inuyasha's lips.  
  
Kagome's hand remains across her forehead, trying to soothe the growing ache pulsing at her temples. 'Baka.'  
  
An eyebrow stands ominously on the Taiji-ya's face, her hands balling into fists at her sides.  
  
Miroku closes his eyes, shaking his head.  Having been on the receiving end of her wrath before, he almost felt sorry for Inuyasha.  Almost.  
  
 "Oi…Kirara."  Sango shouts, her hands waving around in a rather obvious gesture.  
  
Kirara looks obediently to her master and then to the hanyou, brushing a few stray leaves off of himself.  
  
Shippou covers his eyes, muttering "I can't watch this," before spreading out his chubby fingers and peaking through at the scene anyways.  
  
Kirara sidles over, most of her long feline form brushing past Inuyasha before she leans her head down to the ground.  Her tail waving in the air, she throws its muscular weight around quickly.  
  
Inuyasha's eyes widen as he sees the fiery tails moving towards him and moves to jump out of the way, but is not quite fast enough as her tail clips him, forcefully enough to send him flying into the nearby pond a little more than slight singed.  Steam rises up from the water's surface at the epicenter of the ripples.  
  
Sputtering, a wet half demon dog dredges himself to the shore, rivulets of water pouring down off of his.  "What the Hell was that for?"  
  
"What do you think, Baka?" mutters the kitsune.  
  
Everyone's attention turns away from the drenched hanyou as Sango and Miroku slowly approach the others.  
  
The pressure at her back increases gently, as he guides her over to the others.  "Will you be alright with the walking?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"Good."  Leaning over, he quickly places his lips to her cheek, before moving his head back to whisper in her ear.  "We can finish our talk later."  
  
Still a bit shyly, she nods.  
  
Kirara lies her body on the ground and he helps Sango up onto her back.  
  
"Kagome, Kirara, Shippou, please see to it that she goes to Kaede and is treated."  
  
Shippou leans his head, a bit curious.  "What are you gonna do, Miroku?"  
  
Leaning his shajaku against a tall tree, Miroku cracks his knuckles.  "Inuyasha and I need to have a little talk."  
  
   
  
Kirara bounds off the ground, carrying her passengers off with great speed.  
  
Once they were out of sight, Inuyasha and Miroku turn to each other.  
  
Inuyasha eyes widen in curiosity.  "So….tongue?"  
  
"Yeah," Miroku smirks.  
  
"Cool." 


	3. What's in the Bag?

"What's in the bag?"  
  
Excerpted from Peach Blossoms, Ch 6-7  
  
  
  
His lips had left hers, leaving them exposed to the cold of the chilly night air. Even now, the skin still tingled where his lips and hands had been, making a stark emptiness in its stead.  
  
The thin material of her swimsuit was nearly dry, but it was doing little else to keep her warm. Between the copious amount of blushing she had done and the delicious heat which radiated from Miroku's chest as he held her in his arms, noticing the cold around her had been rather low on her list of priorities.  
  
Gooseflesh was cropping up across her shoulders and on down her arms, sending an intense shiver along with it. Her arms hugged her shoulders, desperately trying to rub the warmth back into her skin of her upper arms. Still sitting on the shore, she moved her legs around, trying get the blood to seep down to her lower limbs to warm her bare skin, before giving in and pulling her knees up to her chest.  
  
When he had pulled himself away from her, he walked back over to his belongings, stooping down with his back turned from her to hide what he was doing. She peered over at him curiously, moving her head around from her huddled position to try and see just what he was hiding. She could hear the zipper-like sound of the ripping of fabric, and saw him lift the strips of cloth into the air as he pulled them from his bag.  
  
She frowned, keeping her eyes on his hands and they lifted another piece of cloth into her line of sight. 'Why would he be hiding something? Unless...' Her jaw set. 'Unless there's something in there he doesn't want me to see. I'll bet that's why he's being so nice to me.'  
  
Carefully closing the bag tightly and returning it to its place on the ground, Miroku turned back around, holding the long strips out in his hand.  
  
He walked back over to her, sitting down on the ground in sort of lotus position, careful to keep the cloth pieces up out of the dirt. "Let me see your foot."  
  
Still shivering slightly, she lifted her foot from the ground. He slid his fingers beneath her ankle, delicately guiding it into his lap. She clasped her free knee against her chest, trying to hold herself still as Miroku dressed her wound. 'What could he be hiding in there?' she asked herself silently.  
  
Frowning as the thoughts streamed through her head, she watched as he wound the first strip of cloth lightly over the cut, careful not to tug over its tender surface. 'It's probably something ecchi.'  
  
Another was soon wound on top of the first, slightly tighter.  
  
Her eyes narrowed as she huffed silently, '…or some little keepsake from another girl he was flirting with.' Fuming, her face was slowly turning an angry red, silent sparks of fury dancing in her eyes. 'That sukebe!'  
  
Miroku could feel her eyes burning into the top of his head. He had the distinct feeling that if the "old adage" from Kagome's country were true, that looks could truly kill, the void in his hand would be among the least of his worries. He had to clench his teeth to keep from groaning aloud; 'What was bothering her now?'  
  
The silence was deafening.  
  
Two more strips had been tied together and then woven back and forth between her ankle and foot, leaving the skin of her heel a little red and swollen.  
  
'That would explain why he wanted to go alone.' Her expression had softened into a  
  
glower. 'How could he—'  
  
"Can you stand up?" Miroku was already up off the ground, offering his hand to her to help her up. His face had slipped back into its mask.  
  
A little grudgingly, she placed her palm on his and he pulled her up onto her feet.  
  
But he had pulled a little too hard; she quickly lost her balance, falling against his sturdy chest. Silently, she berated herself. It felt nearly impossible for her to be angry with him now, her heart racing and face flushing once again.  
  
Just as quickly, she steadied herself back on her own two feet.  
  
"Come here for a second."  
  
"But my yukata…" She grumbled loudly, pointing a finger at the pile of clothes strewn below the bush.  
  
"It will still be there. This will only take a minute." He was smiling at her. A full smile, not just one of his damnable smirks or half-hearted attempts.  
  
Her heart stopped for a long second. 'Damn it all.' With a deep sigh, she dropped her hands to her sides heavily in resignation. "All right. What is it?"  
  
"I have something to show you…"  
  
She limped across the dirt beside him, stirring up dust to the slim space between her toes. The last few drops of water were making it cake to the bottom of her feet. She grimaced as she realized she'd have to rinse off her feet again. A bit of the salt water rubbed up against the cut, further irritating the already tender skin. Getting back in was definitely not a pleasant thought.  
  
His arm fell over her shoulders, pulling her solidly to the side of his ribs to lessen the weight on her foot as she walked. From the corner of his eye, he watched with poorly concealed amusement as her cheeks again darkened, her own eyes drifting to hand that firmly gripped her still bare shoulder and then to the sandy earth.  
  
His eyes had turned forward again before she was aware she was being watched. "Your foot will heal faster the more you walk on it, but it's still too early to be putting much weight on it." His tone dismissed any other significance to his action, but the light smirk on his face was casting a strong shadow of doubt.  
  
With Miroku's help, they both reached the bag in no time at all. He helped her back down to her knees and, picking up the bag by the remnants of its handle, she sat back onto her heels.  
  
Miroku nodded at the bag, grinning a poorly concealed grin. "Go ahead…open it."  
  
She swiftly pulled away the thin twine that bound it shut, spilling the contents into her lap. She picked one of them up, holding it in the moon's glow.  
  
The lacy, red piece of fabric almost fit entirely fit in her hand. It was far too small to even be considered given the title of clothing. Her eyes shot daggers at him. "What is this, Houshi-sama?"  
  
"A little present from Kagome's time. It's called lingerie"  
  
"Oh?" Her eyebrow shot up. "And what is it for?"  
  
He leaned up to her ear.  
  
……………………..  
  
…………………….  
  
The forest at night was peaceful. No youkai were wandering about and most of the animals had taken to their dwellings for the night. The moon hung softly amidst the clouds.  
  
Shippou sleepily popped an eye half open.  
  
The unmistakable crack of flesh bellowed through the trees.  
  
Rolling his eyes, tiny hands pressed the pillow against his ears. "Kami- sama…there they go again!" 


End file.
